Week 4: Endure

For the next two weeks, we're going to focus on a paraphrased saying of Epictetus: Endure and renounce.

For the fourth week, we're going to focus on “Endure.” In order to do that, we have to know what that means in a Stoic sense.

Stoics were known for enduring a lot in life. Epictetus endured pain. Cato endured moral corruption. Marcus endured wars and traitors. And this isn't even to count all the nameless Stoics whose lives were filled with their own personal woes that had to be confronted and survived.

It might sound like the Stoics were sort of pushovers that let life do pretty much whatever it want to do. The thing is, endurance of problems doesn't mean you don't try to change anything. Cato fought the corruption he saw. Marcus forgave the traitors and did his best to end the wars. And Epictetus, unable to do much for the pain, focused instead on changing his thoughts about his pain.

Enduring is a concept seemly missing in today's world, at least as far as I can see. People openly complain about coworkers they don't like, making themselves and others around them miserable. If they don't like their job, they'll let everyone short of the people that can fire them know. Don't like your elected officials? TO THE INTERNET! Surly airing one's political views on Facebook will calm your ire.

Except, none of it does. Oliver Burkeman, author of the book The Antidote, cites a study suggesting that airing your dirty laundry to everyone – also know as letting off steam – can keep the feelings fresh. Plus, when other people can give you input, they also might give you even more reasons to be upset.

But endurance, as I said, isn't just rolling over. Is your coworker impacting how you work, or how well your job goes? If not, well, maybe you just let it go or muster the courage to talk directly to them. If they truly are a problem, talk – not whine – to management. Don't like your job? Quit, or work on finding a new one. Mayor Jim Bob McCoy passes a law you don't like? Write to Jim Bob. Protest Jim Bob. Let Jim Bob know.

Endurance helps us in other ways, too. For one thing, it helps build up our willpower. If we start a new diet or try to quit smoking or drinking, we're going to have to endure cravings, people possibly teasing us, and having to learn new ways to cope with the problems these things might have help us solve once. If we seek a new path in life – liking trying to write a novel or going back to college later in life – you might have to deal with mocking, uncertainty, and pushing past failures.

Endurance is a skill we all can learn. It's also something that, if weak, can be made stronger. It will also help you with next week's task: renounce.

There aren't too many ways we can build this skill up in life voluntarily, but here are a couple of suggestions:

• Try to keep complaining down to a minimum. I've tried this one and, let me tell you, it's not as easy as it seems.
• Quit doing something you find rewarding, but it impacts your life negatively. Video games were this for me for awhile. I'd play for hours, ignoring work I wanted to do as well as my wife and son. I sold the system I had (which plays into renouncing) and was able to quit for awhile. Now that I can play games again, though, I feel it creeping back up on me.

That's it for now. Next week, we're going to tackle renouncing. I'm also looking for ideas for week 6, so keep those suggestions coming.

Year of Stoic Living, Week 3: Create a Motto

I'd like to apologize for this getting posted late. My son has been sick lately and the doctor we've been seeing has been prompt, yet a little inattentive. So we took him to the hospital. Needless to say, he missed the strep throat my son has. Because of this, I'm not going to make this one too long.

Anyway, here's this week's post.

Stoic Memories

Part of the Stoic training of old included coming up with way to remembering the teachings in times of need. It's was hard to remember the entirety of The Discourses while in the middle of a war, in times of extreme distress, or any time that makes thinking too philosophical too hard.

The best way to remember something is to make it simple.

The Challenge

Okay, this one is simple, more for preparing for future troubles.

Choose some texts to read for this week. It could be from one philosopher, one text, whatever. It doesn't even have to be a Stoic text. Anything that inspires mental calm or moral fortitude in you will work.

Read however much you'd like or until you get inspired.

For example, having read Letter 1 of Seneca's, I came up with “I am dying everyday.” It reminds me that my life is short.

Like I said, I'm going to have to cut this short this week. I just wanted to have this posted for you guys.

Year of Stoic Living, Week 2: Negative Visualization

A lot of people like beginning the New Year contemplating all the good that might come into their lives. Everyone thinks about the weight they'll lose, the many book they'll read, and in general about the better people they'll become. But how many of us keep in mind that a New Year could mean things becoming worse, too?

We could lose loved one. We may lose our jobs. Our homes. There's as much hope in the New Year as there is dread. But most don't take this fact to heart. And I think this is what causes most people to stop improving themselves. Because they forget the other half of hope, dread overcomes them the second something bad happens.

Let's try to change that up by taking the time to think of what may go wrong with our resolutions.

How to Negatively Visualize Our Resolutions (or Personal Goals)

This isn't about being Sadness from Inside Out. We're not just thinking about the worst that could happen. We're also thinking of ways to deal with the worst.

Let's take the common resolution of weight loss. We already know the best outcome: we lose weight. But what's the worst outcome? We gain weight. And can we deal with that? By being careful observers of what gave us more weight. Maybe you binged. Maybe you have a food addiction problem. Whatever the case is, doing our best to detail what could go wrong and plan accordingly will help ease the emotions we may feel in our darkest times.

One way to make this process is to make a flow chart, like this:

Yes, I know. It's amazing.

Maybe a flow chart isn't your thing. You could make a bad things outline:

• Resolution 1
  • Bad Outcome 1
    • Fix 1
    • Fix 2
  • Bad Outcome 2
    • Fix 1
    • Fix 2
    • Fix 3

As a general point, you might not want to tackle too many resolutions at once. And you should also keep in mind there isn't always a fix. Sometimes we fail and there's just nothing we can do but start over. Or perhaps our goal just isn't realistic.

But maybe you aren't a resolution kind of person. Maybe the resolution you have is to pick up the habit of negative visualization.

How to Do Negative Visualization

I've already written a post on this subject if you want to go more in-depth on the subject of why we should and how to do it. However, I'll do a quick and dirty version here for you.

This one is a little harder if you ask me, because it's not failure of minor goals we're focusing on. We're focusing on the things in life we could lose.

People could die. We could die. Bad things happen.

Much like with our resolutions, sometimes by thinking of the worst that can happen, we can think of ways to fix it ahead of time so that, when it happens, so can quickly try to take control. But more often than not, these bigger loses aren't about us being able to fix it. It's about being able to cope with the bad happening.

What if you were dying? Odds are, there's no fix for this. But there are ways to cope. There are ways to make it easier on you and others. The first step is to acknowledge that this may happen this year.

This doesn't have to be one of those things you do every year or even that long. Sometimes, the simple acknowledgment of something going wrong is enough to give us the ability to cope. A sticky note with the words I'm dying everyday placed somewhere you can see it might be enough to change how you live your life. Perhaps you want to take a half-hour once a week and pick something to think about. All you have to do is find what works for you.

The Challenge

• Choose a resolution you made and make a flow chart or outline (or whatever) of things that could wrong. Make sure you include ways to cope and/or fix failures. Have this flow chart somewhere you can find it when you fail so you can remind yourself of your fixes and coping tacit. Aren't the type to make resolutions? Choose a personal goal of yours.
• Pick up the habit of negative visualization. Figure out how often you want to do it and a way you want to do.

Your Journal

Just so we're clear, your journal doesn't have to be everyday. You could write once a week, once a day, once every five minutes, whatever. And it doesn't always have to be about the challenge, either. It could be how you used Stoicism or want to start using Stoicism. I like to do mine once every other day or so, at least once a week.

A Facebook and Subreddit

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/yearofstoicliving/
Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/YearofStoicLiving/

Next Week...

We'll see...

Short Post: Action and Inaction

I saw an interesting comic over on Reddit the other day that sums up something I never realized really until just today:

We make the lives we want not only by what actions we take, but also by what actions we don't take.

I guess that thought was always in the back of my mind, but it never really came out until now. While there is a lot to say about what actions we do take, I think we can sometimes found out more about ourselves by the actions we don't take. It also speaks a lot about what we say to ourselves.

For example, for the longest time, I've been determined to become a fiction writer. Or so I thought.

See, for all the complaining I do about having to deal with bosses, by not having enough time to do what I want with life, by everything I say really, I thought that somehow, one day, maybe something would click.

The only think that clicked was my mouse as I played video games.

See, my mouth might have been saying I wanted to be a writer, but my actions said I wanted to be a seafood clerk that pretends to really love his job but really just sort kind of like it. My actions tell me that I actually want to be an inattentive father who pretends he's just doing one more thing on the computer, trust me son, I'll be right with you, but oh look, I'm just checking this game out one last time.

My lack of actions as a writer, a father, and as a man who wants to be free of the 9-5 crap tell me that much as well.

“People pay for what they do, and still more, for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it very simply: by the lives they lead.” -James Baldwin

I would add one more line: People pay for what they don't do, too.

Year of Stoic Living, Week 1: Cold Showers

Wow. Just, wow. I didn't think you guys would go down this route for the first week. But cold showers won, so...

Really? I have to freeze my ass off? For what?

Yes, but it isn't as bad as you think it is.

First, let's start with some non-Stoic reasons to take a cold shower.

• It's good for the blood. Taking a cold shower makes your blood run towards your organs to warm them up. Heat it up and your blood goes to your skin to keep your innards cool.
• It can make you happier. A quick cold shower releases a chemical in your brain that helps battle depression.
• According to some, it'll help you lose weight. The cold increases metabolism, which works those calories right off. You know, if you're into that sort of thing.

There are other reasons, but what does this mean for the Stoic? Why should taking a cold shower be considered a philosophical practice?

For starters, cold showers aren't know for being fun. I've taken a few myself just for the experience of it and still find myself gasping like a ninny, thinking that maybe, somehow, I'll be better about it. But, no, just as bad as before.

Which makes it great for confronting discomfort in a safe way. After all, there are good odds that a cold shower isn't going to kill you. Sure, maybe if you have a heart problem, the jolt could be too much. But for most of us, all it's going to be is a jolt. It doesn't hurt. It just sucks.

For a Stoic, this is ideal. Few things in your life is going to suck as much as a cold shower. Your day to day is not likely to be so disastrous and terrible that the cold shower is actually the best part of your day. Boss is getting on your case? Traffic is terrible? Well, at least they're not ice cold water running down your back.

Learning to deal with discomfort in this controlled way trains you to do better when other discomforts come along without warning. And it doesn't take much to train this skill, either.

How to Take A Cold Shower

There are few ways you can take a cold shower.

• Just blast the ice and jump in. This is how I do it as taking a hot shower first lessens my chances of turning it to cold. It'll be the quickest shower you'll ever take, though. Get wet, get soapy, get rinsed. Out in a few minutes.
• Do what the Art of Manliness calls the “James Bond shower”: Start hot to get wet and soapy, then turn it ice cold to rinse off. Supposedly, this is better for getting cleaned, as the hot water opens the pores to clean out the dirt and the ice water closes them up tight to keep dirt out.
• Turn the cold water on to the point where it's annoying enough. This is good for your first time and how I used to do it. Start off like you'd take a shower normally, then get it so the cold is just a little colder than you'd like it.

How often should you do this? The Art of Manliness suggests taking a cold shower at least once a day. Personally, I think this is a bit much, but for this week, try to take one once a day if at all possible, barring anything that might prevent this (currently, our shower is being rebuilt, so to be honest, I'll have to start later this week). Afterwards, do it at least once a month.

Oh, One More Thing

You're starting a journal. No, you can't wiggle your way out of this.

I've avoided this one for a long time, too. But one of the best ways to keep habits we want is to monitor what we're doing and one of the best ways to do that is journal about what we're doing.

It doesn't have to be major. It could be at the end of the week, every other day, whatever. It's could be a paragraph or a full-fledged thesis. Whatever it takes for you monitor yourself and get your own feedback on how you're doing.

Anything Else?

Yeah, one more thing. I want to try to do a Google Hangout once a week, but I can't promise a certain date or anything like that. Retail makes that hard. But this is meant to be a group project, something we all have a say in, so I'd like it if we got together when we can and talk about how we're doing and where we want to go.

Next Week

Negative Visualization. It's good to practice the basics.

On Choosing Your Poison

So it's five days until the New Year and I realized something about myself.

I'm terrible at planning.

See, I've been working on the Mad Stoic's Stoic Year of Living for a few months now and I've come up with very little. Oh, I've got things we can do, but I couldn't figure out how to structure it. Was there a logical way to do things? And what gave me the right ideas about how to structure?

And what was the best way to get people involved with the project? I wanted people to give feedback so we could make sure the project helped out as many people as possible.

I racked my brain and I think I've come up with something.

You guys are going to choose the first challenge.

Here's how it's going to work: I'm going to present two tasks. One will be Mental tasks and one will be Physical tasks. Mental tasks will concern themselves with things that don't require much of your body, visualizations and journaling. Physical tasks will challenge your body, like cold showers.

The task you guys pick will be your first task that week. The other option will become next week's.

And while I have many ideas, I want you guys to give me input. I'd rather do what you guys would rather focus on than just my thoughts.

Enough yammering out of me, though. Here are your options:

Negative visualizations. Everyone starts the New Year thinking of all the good things that will come to them. Not us. We'll spend the first week tackling all the things all that could go wrong. (Mental)

Cold showers. It's been a warm winter this year. Let's cool things off. (Physical)

The poll is located on the side and closes 12/31/15 at noon.

Looking forward to spending the New Year will all of you.

On the Paris Attacks

A few nights ago, my sister-in-law mentioned in passing that Paris was under attack. To her, it was no big deal. However, the journalist in me couldn't let it pass. I logged onto Reddit and thought that it couldn't be any worse than the Charlie Hebdo attack.

Time proved me wrong.

At the time of this writing, 132 were dead and at least 89 were in critical condition, so it's quite possible this number can jump much higher. It's a great loss of life that shocked even my normally Stoic self.

Over on r/Stoicism, someone asked how a Stoic would cope with something like this. Stoicism, like Socrates, teaches that no one willingly does evil. Rather, they do things in a misguided attempt to do good. The terrorists in this case did not think they were doing evil, but justice for things happening in Syria. Even in cases where we can perceive that others may think we are doing wrong, we still justify that we are doing right in some way.

When these terrorists got ready for their attack, they must have known that the world wouldn't agree with their reasons. Yet they went on with their attack, because at the end of the day, they felt they were doing more good than wrong.

Yet that doesn't feel right, does it? When it comes to minor actions, it's very easy to say, “It seemed so to them.” Someone steals your lamp, well, it seemed like a good idea to them. A group massacres and hurts hundreds of people and saying “It seemed so to them” just doesn't seem to fit.

The problem is that this is exactly what Stoicism calls for. We as Stoics, as hard as it is, must accept that the terrorists meant to do good. Does that mean what they did was good? Of course not. By saying the terrorists wanted to do good, we're aren't saying that they did good. What they did was further create a chasm between non-Muslims and Muslims. In essence, they created more of the suspicion they accuse non-Muslims of by (most likely) hiding within the refugees' ranks.

There's another way of saying this: Everyone thinks themselves the hero of their own story. Of course, this mean that someone has to be a villain as well. People often talk of the whole world bearing down on them. Well, to these terrorists, the world really is and so they think they're doing an even greater good, because the whole world is an evil to fight. Perhaps that's why they don't see the damage they do -- or why anyone who does wrong doesn't see their wrongness. Even the most innocent babe is just a spawn of pure evil.

This doesn't mean that Stoics are just going to roll over. Marcus lead a Roman army for many years, wielding its power not in rage, but as it was needed. Of course, most Stoics these days can't rouse up an army. But we can still do good, like give money, donate blood, or fight for better foreign policies.

As for however we're feeling, well, none of us are sages. Even the staunchest Stoic flinches. The point isn't to be perfect and unfeeling. That's a part of being human. To paraphrase Seneca, our initial anger or sadness are a result of emotional scars. It's how fast we can get back on track that counts.