I saw an interesting comic over on Reddit the other day that sums up something I never realized really until just today:
We make the lives we want not only by what actions we take, but also by what actions we don't take.
I guess that thought was always in the back of my mind, but it never really came out until now. While there is a lot to say about what actions we do take, I think we can sometimes found out more about ourselves by the actions we don't take. It also speaks a lot about what we say to ourselves.
For example, for the longest time, I've been determined to become a fiction writer. Or so I thought.
See, for all the complaining I do about having to deal with bosses, by not having enough time to do what I want with life, by everything I say really, I thought that somehow, one day, maybe something would click.
The only think that clicked was my mouse as I played video games.
See, my mouth might have been saying I wanted to be a writer, but my actions said I wanted to be a seafood clerk that pretends to really love his job but really just sort kind of like it. My actions tell me that I actually want to be an inattentive father who pretends he's just doing one more thing on the computer, trust me son, I'll be right with you, but oh look, I'm just checking this game out one last time.
My lack of actions as a writer, a father, and as a man who wants to be free of the 9-5 crap tell me that much as well.
“People pay for what they do, and still more, for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it very simply: by the lives they lead.” -James Baldwin
I would add one more line: People pay for what they don't do, too.